Raimon Message Board
by NinjaGogeta
Summary: Natsumi addresses some of her issues with the members of the club. Crack.
1. Chapter 1

This message board has been put up by order of Raimon Natsumi so that she can address the team and their problems without taking time away from her already busy schedule.

Endou: Please stop yelling "Sakka Yarouze" so often. Not only is it annoying but you did it right in Shishido's ear the other day and his hearing still hasn't come back. Despite this being impressive due to the vast amount of hair blocking off his ears, we are now down a sub for the foreseeable future.

Goenji: Please stop being so late all the time. We are constantly forced to put training on hold while we wait for you to turn up. It is ruining my schedule. Also, stop setting the balls on fire. They are very expensive and the school's sports budget can only stretch so far.

Kidou: I appreciate that you wish to protect Haruna's 'chastity' or whatever, but kicking a ball at Fudou's face when he came to visit because he made eye contact with her is pushing it a little. And poor Tachimukai is still scarred from when you "had a friendly chat" with him when he handed her a rice ball.

Kazemaru: How the hell do you keep your hair looking so perfect after running around all day? Seriously, most girls would kill to have your hair.

Someoka: Do you dye your hair? It's only just occurred to me to ask you.

Handa: Please do try and speak up when in strategy meetings. You blend in with the background so easily that it's easy to forget that you're there.

Kabeyama: Have you seen a Doctor about your legs? Because I'm pretty sure that having legs that look like drumsticks is not healthy. Unless you are a chicken, or a turkey, or some other sort of poultry.

Shourin: Stop using the goal posts as punching posts. They've started to bend a little, which is impressive considering the crap they get put through from Goenji and Someoka on a day to day basis.

Shadow: I understand that you have this whole dark and mysterious thing going on, but wearing a cape and throwing it over your head as you sidestep away to leave is taking it a bit too far.

Kageno: Get a haircut. How you can see where you are going is beyond me.

Shishido: I would tell you to get a haircut as well, but I suspect it's the only thing that protected you from permanent ear drum damage. Get well soon.

Kurimatsu: Why do you constantly wear that plaster on your nose? Do you have sinus issues, or are you just being punched in the same place every day? If so, please tell somebody about it.

Megane: Do some training for once, will you? All you've got going for you is your move naming, which is becoming redundant now. Your only hissatu involves you taking a hit to the face. Considering you wear glasses, that's not a good thing.

Max: Do you ever take your hat off? It must get awfully hot when you're on the pitch.

Aki: Please stop daydreaming about Ichinose and help out more…on second thoughts, just think about him, and only him. Got it!

Haruna: I'm starting to think that you're setting guys up to be messed with by Kidou. If so, then that is incredibly screwed up. If not, please have a word with your brother.

Fuyuka: Back off. He's mine bitch. It's canon.


	2. Chapter 2

Endou: When I asked you to stop yelling "Sakka Yarouze" all the time, maybe I should have been more specific. Don't say it. Ever. Again. Whispering it doesn't make it any less annoying- actually it makes it even more annoying.

Goenji: The "My Sister Is In Hospital" card doesn't work anymore, Goenji. She hasn't been in hospital for over a year. And I don't care if all of your hissatsu are fire related, use your own balls if you're going to practice them.

Kidou: I understand that Haruna is your only family left in the world, but tackling Kurimatsu from behind for talking to her is out of order. Now we're down another substitute, who just so happens to be the super sub who pretty much always turns the match around.

Kazemaru: I refuse to believe that you don't do anything to your hair. There is not a chance in hell that there is not a drop of product in there.

Someoka: Refer to the above message.

Handa: Although what you say about Kidou not seeing you very well because of his goggles may be true, that doesn't explain why everyone else forgets that you're there.

Kabeyama: How have the Doctors cleared your legs as being fine? They look like they'll snap under your weight at any second!

Shourin: Thank you for listening to me. However, using the wall to practice your spin kicks is not an appropriate alternative.

Shadow: I know that Kidou wears a cape too, but he doesn't look like an idiot when he wears it. Somehow.

Kageno: Surely you can just move it out of the way? A hairclip or something? Who knows, maybe people would give you more attention if they could see your face?

Shishido: I'm glad to hear that your hearing is returning. I'm also a little jealous that you haven't been able to hear Endou-kun when he starts whispering the dreaded words.

Kurimatsu: I know that you were only asking Haruna what time it was, but Kidou is a bit of a nutter. At least all of those plasters you carry are coming in handy.

Megane: Yes I do remember when you redirected that shot and won a match. News flash; that was a year and a half ago! Shishido has been more relevant than you in the last week, and he's been partially deaf!

Max: I've personally experienced heat rush and you show all of the signs during the summer. Henceforth I refuse to believe you when you say that the hat keeps you cool.

Aki: Do you think you could lend Kageno a hair clip?

Haruna: Ok, I'm sure I saw you glance at Kidou before talking to Kurimatsu. I'm watching you Haruna.

Fuyuka: Sorry about the last message. Calling you a bitch may have been going a teensy bit too far.

Coach Hitomiko: Do you think we could borrow some players from Sun Garden? Ours are dropping like flies.


	3. Chapter 3

Endou: For goodness sake, fine. If it'll stop you moping around so much then you can start saying "Sakka Yarouze" again. However, there is a limit; three times a week. If I find out you've broke the limit then you'll be banned from the club, captain or not.

Goenji: Don't be so literal. I meant that your sister hasn't been omitted to hospital in over a year, not that she hasn't been inside of one. Your father is a bloody Doctor, so of course she's been inside of one. And you'll need to see him there if you dare take my words out of context like that again.

Kidou: Honestly now this is getting ridiculous. Handa did not deserve to be hit in the face like that just because he "dissed" your goggles. You're lucky you're rich or you'd be screwed for having to pay all of these medical bills. At least you didn't hit him for talking to Haruna or something.

Kazemaru & Someoka: I understand that I may have been a little pushy, but there was no need to start an "All Natural Hair" union over the matter.

Handa: How is your jaw? I think I heard that it was broken. But look on the bright side, at least he didn't do too much damage to you- Kurimatsu still has a twisted ankle the poor sod.

Kabeyama: Ok Kabeyama, I don't know what kind of hack Doctor you're seeing but there is no way he has a real medical degree. I can actually read his writing for a start. And what kind of Doctor is called "Dr. Feelgood" anyway?

Shourin: Why are you even in the football club anyway? It's just that you seem to be so obsessed with martial arts that I don't understand why you didn't just join a martial arts club .At least they'd have actual equipment you could use.

Shadow: I'm glad that you've dropped the cape, but is the wide brimmed fedora really necessary? All that's missing is a trench coat and you've got the whole flasher look down.

Kageno: NEVER MOVE OR REMOVE YOUR HAIR FROM YOUR FACE AGAIN!

Shishido: I'm glad to hear that your hearing has returned. I also regret to inform you that you missed out on the period of time where Endou was banned from saying Sakka Yarouze.

Midorikawa: Thank you for standing in for Kurimatsu while he recovers. Just don't talk to Haruna or insult Kidou's apparel and you should be fine during your time here.

Megane: No wearing contact lenses does not get you out of training- you're still terrible, now your eyes are just safe from being impaled by broken glass.

Max: I told you that you had heat stroke. That's what you get for running around in the summer while wearing a bloody hat. Take some time off to recover.

Aki: I'm sorry about your hairclip, Aki, but it had to be destroyed for its part in revealing Kageno's face to the world.

Haruna: Please don't interact with Midorikawa at all. I don't want Hitomiko to come down here because your brother dislodged his eye or something.

Fuyuka: Ok calling you a bitch was uncalled for. There, I said it.

Coach Hitomiko: Thank you for lending us Midorikawa…do you think you called spare Saginuma as well? Honestly, we could really do with him, especially if Endou breaks his "Sakka Yarouze" limit or if Kidou breaks Shadow's arm for "borrowing" one of his capes or something.


End file.
